


hear your voice on the phone (now i'm no longer alone)

by stevebuckiest



Series: chris and andy are in love [6]
Category: Defending Jacob (TV 2020), Destroyer (2018)
Genre: Boys In Love, Business Trip, Daddy Kink, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Praise Kink, Sharing Clothes, THUMBS UP !!!!!!, and needs to hear andy's voice so he knows they're both ok, and to ask for help when he needs it, andy is a little not ok at first but they manage to make things better as always, andy needs healthier coping mechanisms, but it's not sexual? it's just a comfort tactic and a pet name in this case, chris is homesick, so:, they miss each other a whole lot, they wear each others shirts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:40:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25859854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stevebuckiest/pseuds/stevebuckiest
Summary: “Been missing our bed like hell, anyways.” Been missing you like hell goes unspoken, but Andy seems to pick up on it, lifting his head up to give the camera a sad smile.“I’ve been missing having you in it,” Andy says quietly.Chris smiles softly back and wishes more than anything that he was on his way home right now to alleviate that problem, soothe both of their feelings. But for now, all he can settle for is this phone call and a heartfelt, “I’ve been missing being in it with you too, sweet thing” that makes Andy’s shoulders slump down, head tipping back against the couch cushions.Hearing that seems to allow something in him crack a bit. Chris watches him take in a shaky breath and scrub a large hand over his beard on screen after wiping hurriedly at his eyes. “Fuck,” he grits out. “I shouldn’t-“ his voice cuts off, then comes out as a whisper. “I’m sorry.”
Relationships: Andy Barber/Chris (Destroyer)
Series: chris and andy are in love [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809163
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42





	hear your voice on the phone (now i'm no longer alone)

**Author's Note:**

> hello....it's me again

As soon as Chris’s back hits the mattress, he groans. It’s not a good groan. Not the kind that would normally be pulled from flopping down on his and Andy’s bed at home, satisfied with the cradle of comfort Andy’s unnecessarily plush mattress topper offers him- no, he’s not feeling that relief right now, unfortunately, because he isn’t home and it isn’t _their_ bed that he’s currently splayed out on. It’s unfortunate that he finds himself here for a multitude of reasons. One, because the hotel’s mattress is uncomfortable as hell (he swears he can feel every spring in the damned thing) and two, because _here_ is a place that isn’t home, and not being at home means he’s in a place without Andy, who he’s been missing something awful this entire week.

He’s not a stranger to traveling for work by any means, but this is the first time he’s had to do it since meeting Andy, and it’s proving harder to manage the whole _homesickness_ aspect of things now that he has a real home to go back to in the first place. Not that he feels any resentment about Andy giving him that gift whatsoever- that’s the problem. All he wants right now is to be back at home on the couch with his sweetheart laying next to him while they get caught up on NCIS and take breaks from making fun of the questioning tactics to kiss during the commercial breaks.

Instead, he’s lying alone on a too-hard bed in a hotel room, feeling drained after a long day of getting absolutely nowhere with his leads and reevaluating the questioning tactics he uses for himself. It’s not a glamorous aspect of the job. Or an enjoyable one. In comparison to where he wishes he was right now, it kind of sucks. A lot. He allows himself to wallow in the feeling for a few minutes, but eventually he sighs and sits back up, wincing at how the motion makes his already sore back twinge. God, this mattress sucks. He wishes Andy was here to give him a back rub. Or just here in general really...He sighs again and scrubs a hand over his face. God, right back to the self pity he went, huh? He’s got to pull himself back together, he only has a few more days at this place left, and then he’ll be right back home with his boyfriend and their (wonderfully comfortable) bed. He can make it.

With that thought in mind, he pushes himself up off the bed and heads back over to the table in the corner where he had set his dinner for the night, shrugging off his denim jacket along the way before sitting himself down in the (equally uncomfortable) hotel chair. He’d picked out a tiny, hole in the wall Japanese place that looked promising, and when he rustles aside the bag to crack open the styrofoam lid to the gyozas he’d picked out- he knows he was right. Inhaling the scent and working on the other containers, he lets himself relax a little and find a little bit of contentment in the anticipation of good food. Even if it isn’t the same as eating takeout on the couch with Andy or tucking into a meal his boyfriend cooked for him, he can enjoy this. Come to think of it, they both can, he thinks, ripping open a packet of soy sauce with his teeth and leaning over to grab his phone from the pocket of his discarded jacket.

He’s actually been looking for a bit of an excuse to call Andy, these past few days. His boyfriend has been getting...forgetful about replying. Nothing in Chris thinks that Andy is ignoring him, Andy isn’t glued to his phone even when Chris _is_ there, but not hearing from him besides two texts a day and a too-late goodnight.. it’s...it’s worrying. Chris hates thinking about Andy having to be alone at home. He’s been trying to keep up a consistent habit of texting Andy every day- a good morning, a brief conversation at lunch, maybe a snap of what he’s eating for dinner, a goodnight paired with an _I love you_ to try and make up for the kisses and companionship he’s missing being away like this.

He’s trying to keep things up for himself and for Andy, but none of it feels like enough, and now that Andy is answering his texts less and less (the last time Chris heard from him was this morning when he responded to Chris’s wakeup text and said nothing since)...he’s feeling a little worried on top of all the homesickness he had piled up already. Andy’s a grown man. He can handle himself. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t get low, especially when he’s cooped up alone...Chris knows that better than anyone, considering the position that he had found Andy in when they met. The other man had been so tired and worn down, resigned...depressed. Lonely. A lot of other negative words and sad adjectives that Chris hates associating with his sweetheart. Chris loves Andy in any state, but thinking about his beautiful, bright boyfriend locked up in their house and feeling anything close to the way he’d felt before they met...Chris fucking hates it.

That house is his home now in a way Andy’s admitted to it never feeling like previously. Chris never wants him to go back to the way it was before.

He doesn’t ever want things to go back to the way they were prior to him meeting Andy for himself either, if he’s telling the truth. It wasn’t awful- he was getting by, anyways. The nights had been lonely, time spent off the job restless, and time spent _on_ the job too rough to properly deal with without anything to go home to. Because that’s what the case had been before, really, hadn’t it? He hadn’t had a home or anywhere to lay down roots, hadn’t had anyone to care for or be gentle with outside of the job. He hadn’t had anyone to be gentle with _him_.

He’d been a nomad.

Now, things are different, obviously. He can tell as much just by glancing down at his phone, picture of Andy holding a thumbs up to the camera from where he’s perched on the tailgate of Chris’s truck with the sunset going down behind him glowing up at Chris from the lockscreen. Chris smiles and swallows a bite of his dinner, thumbing his passcode in with a free hand to unlock his phone and get a look at his home screen as well. It’s another picture of Andy, this time with Chris standing next to him with his arm slung over his shoulders while they pose in front of the sign to a hike they decided to try out together a few weeks ago. They’re both smiling in the photo. They’re both happy. Being away from home doesn’t take that away.

Chris just wishes he could make his head recognize that. It’s so easy with being back on his own like this to slip back into old habits and feelings. To be afraid that the life he’s building with Andy is all just a dream he’s going to wake up from. It’s irrational; he knows that Andy loves him even if he’s out of sight. But again: Chris just wishes he could make his head recognize that.

Hopefully hearing his sweetheart’s voice will alleviate a little of that- what Chris himself is feeling and what he’s afraid Andy is feeling at home without him. The falter in communication really does worry Chris a bit. He’s always been a particularly protective person (hence his profession that’s gotten him stuck in this situation in the first place), but with Andy...well, sometimes it feels like a whole new ballpark with how fiercely he loves the man.

He can hardly wait to get back home to him, to be back in his arms and be able to wrap him up and give him the biggest kiss of his life- but for now, a phone call will have to do. Hopefully the time is close enough for him to catch Andy while he’s eating as well so they can have a little bit of an e-Dinner date together, as it were ( _and_ , supplies the more pointed side of his brain, _you can make sure Andy’s eating dinner at all_ ). Even if he isn’t still eating, they can at the very least talk about their days and Chris can tell him that he misses him, maybe slip in a few praises and teasing _good boy_ s to ease both of their minds. He’ll take what he can get, to be frank. As long as he gets to hear Andy’s voice and tell him that he loves him- or maybe, actually, even see his face as well. He’d almost forgotten about the video chat option, but now that he’s remembered-

He selects the Facetime app, takes another bite of his food, and hits Andy’s contact name to initiate the call. The weird little _bloop_ ing sounds are the only noises that fill the room besides the hotel’s cranked up AC while Chris waits (and hopes) for Andy to pick up the phone.

It takes two more bites and a moment of Chris cursing the hotel’s shitty wifi for that to happen, but the moment the screen connects, Chris is smiling wider than he has in a week and settling his shoulders forward to look down at the screen and Andy's vaguely pixelated face.

Chris takes in a deep breath and lets his voice come out as relieved as he’s feeling. “Hey, sweet thing.”

Wherever Andy is in the house is dark (something Chris vaguely registers as worrisome in the back of his mind, knowing full well Andy often doesn’t bother turning the lights on or opening the curtains when he’s feeling down) but Chris can still see the tiny wave Andy offers the camera and huffs out softly in response. He’s cute. Chris misses him a ridiculous amount.

“Hey, honey,” Andy says. His voice is low and scratchy in the way that Chris loves, and something in him relaxes simply hearing it. It’s like a screw in his chest he hadn’t even known was tightened has been unwound, loosened in a way only Andy can accomplish so that Chris can finally breathe again.

He clears his throat and swallows down another bite of his dinner along with the emotions currently welling up inside him. “How was your day? Haven’t heard from you much today, I hope it was okay. Know you’re probably keeping busy at the office.” He tries not to sound too pushy or accusing. Andy has a tendency to throw himself into work sometimes when he’s trying to deal with personal things. It’s an avoidance tactic, Chris knows, but he’d like to think that Andy doesn’t feel the need to avoid his own boyfriend.

Andy lets out a noncommittal hum and tilts his head down, darkened hair filling up most of the screen. Chris immediately wants to see his face again. “I, uh- I just got home. I took on some extra hours this week,” he admits. “They needed someone to help out on a case and I said yes, but...it’s with Neil.”

Chris winces and puts off thinking about Andy’s slow responses for a moment in favor of a sympathetic noise and expression. “Ouch.”

Neil isn’t someone among either of their favorite people, but he’s definitely farther down on Andy’s list considering Andy’s the one that has to see him almost every day. Neil has some sort of weird vendetta against him, if Chris is being blunt. It’s not hard to tell with how often the man tries to cut in and comment on Andy’s cases, on his decisions, on his strategies...even on his personal life sometimes.

And by that, he means Neil likes to make some sly remarks about not only Andy’s relationship with Chris, but his divorce from Laurie as well. The barbs trying to undermine Andy had been being thrown by Neil well before Chris had come into the picture to begin with, but they definitely started getting more hard hitting once Chris walked into Andy’s life and caused a town full of speculation to rise up once he and Andy held hands in public for the first time. It’d been hard enough for them both to deal with that milestone in itself (and an incredibly emotional)- Andy coming out as a prominent local figure and being with a man publicly in general was enough, but paired with the two of them being in such a small town where everyone was already too stuck on Andy’s increasingly distant divorce to begin with? Jesus. They still get looks walking around town- get a lot of well meaning yet slightly backhanded remarks as well, but they’re dealing with those less and less as more time goes on. Chris and Andy both have had to deal with shittier people than Neil surrounding their relationship (Laurie’s reaction was one Chris thought they’d never get through after that first initial phone call when she found out), but still.

Neil is a dick. Andy having to work close with him isn’t good news for anyone. Chris wouldn’t blame Andy if he quit his job on the spot with some of the shit Neil has said to him (he’s come home to Chris mad so many times that eventually half of Chris just wanted to show up at the office the next day himself and land the guy one in the jaw for insinuating Andy “moves on too fast in his cases and his personal life”) but in true Andy Barber fashion, his sweetheart just hunches his shoulders forward and tries to pretend it doesn’t bother him.

“It’s fine,” he says quietly. “They need the help, anyways. I don’t mind. It’s my job and all.”

Chris sighs and decides to let that slide as well. He’s not wasting his first call of the week with Andy having an argument, especially not without seeing his face in good light first- he decides to remedy that second part immediately. “Can you turn a light on for me, Ands? Wanna see your pretty face better. I’ve been missing it all day, you know.” He plays up the sugar sweet in his voice hoping it’ll make Andy laugh and duck down into that signature bashful preening move of his, but all he gets is another quiet exhale and a hesitant nod of the head as Andy leans out of frame to hopefully fulfill Chris’s request.

He will, Chris knows. Andy’s always good like that for him.

True to form, the light flicks on a moment later and Chris barely has the time to recognize that Andy was sitting on the couch in the dark before his eyes drop down on Andy’s face and he can feel the rest of _his_ face fall from his prepared smile with them. “Oh _,_ sweetheart _._ ”

Andy’s response comes almost automatically, rushed out insistently at the sound of Chris’s worried tone. “I’m fine, Chris.” To hell he is- all of Chris’ suspicions and worries have only been confirmed by the sight of the dark circles currently smudged under Andy’s eyes, which are worryingly miserable as he stares to the side of the screen and pointedly doesn’t make eye contact with Chris. “I’m fine,” he repeats stubbornly.

Chris can tell he’s posturing, no doubt beating himself up for thinking he’s upset Chris even when he’s already exhausted from whatever else is bothering him that he clearly doesn’t want to acknowledge. That’s the thing about Andy- everyone else’s feelings always come first, often at the expense of caring about his own problems. The selflessness and the protective streak run so deep in him that it’s ingrained, and as much as Chris loves that part of him that comes with the whole- it’s also frustrating as hell seeing Andy hurting and still actively trying to brush it off for someone else’s benefit.

Since that someone else in this situation is Chris himself, that’s not cutting it. Never will.

“Sweetheart,” he murmurs, pushing his takeout away to focus better on the call and his concern. “You look so tired. Have you not been sleeping good again?”

Even through the phone’s shitty quality, Chris can see Andy clench his jaw. They both know Andy’s sleeping habits (and habits in general) get fucked up when he’s upset. Saying _yes_ is going to be an admission in Andy’s eyes, but Chris doesn’t need to hear it. He already knows. Still, once Andy’s eyes dart up and take in Chris’s gently prodding expression, he gives a minute nod that seems to leave him even more drained. “I guess the weird work hours are getting me a bit off track,” he says, deep voice painfully tired. “It’s fine.”

“You can catch up on sleep this weekend when I get home, if you want,” Chris suggests softly. Anything to make Andy look less forlorn. “We both can. Driving makes me feel like I’ve been wiped out, taking a day off to nap with you sounds like heaven.” Then, after a pause, “Been missing our bed like hell, anyways.” _Been missing_ you _like hell_ goes unspoken, but Andy seems to pick up on it, lifting his head up to give the camera a sad smile.

“I’ve been missing having you in it,” Andy says quietly.

Chris smiles softly back and wishes more than anything that he was on his way home right now to alleviate that problem, soothe both of their feelings. But for now, all he can settle for is this phone call and a heartfelt, “I’ve been missing being in it with you too, sweet thing” that makes Andy’s shoulders slump down, head tipping back against the couch cushions.

Hearing that seems to allow something in him crack a bit. Chris watches him take in a shaky breath and scrub a large hand over his beard on screen after wiping hurriedly at his eyes. “Fuck,” he grits out. “I shouldn’t-“ his voice cuts off, then comes out as a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

Chris exhales slowly, heart aching at the wet quality of Andy’s words. “Andy, there’s nothing you need to be sorry for,” he says gently.

Andy shakes his head, upset with himself and stubborn as ever over denying himself the right to feel things. “I shouldn’t be like this after just a few days,” he says tightly. “You don’t even know what I’ve been- it’s stupid. I’m a grown man, I shouldn’t-“

“What?” Chris interrupts before Andy can go too far down the path his head has obviously been taking him on. “Have emotions? Miss your boyfriend? Because I gotta tell you, I’ve been missing you just as bad, baby, and I sure don’t think you don’t see anything stupid about that.”

Andy is quick to look at Chris, eyes wide at the implication that he thinks anything Chris feels is stupid. “No, _of course not_ ,” he says heatedly. “Fuck- that’s not what I meant, Chris.”

Chris once again wishes he were there in person to hug him. He looks like he could use it. Chris feels like he could use it himself. “I know it wasn’t, but do you see how it feels for me to watch you beat yourself up over things you feel? I’m feeling it too. There’s nothing wrong with missing me. I miss _you_.”

Andy’s voice is hoarse when he replies, phone shifting in his hand as he sinks back further into what Chris is pretty sure is his normal spot on the couch. His throat tightens up at the thought of Andy curling up there just to feel closer to him on a night where usually they would be piled up there together. “I miss you, too.”

That’s better. “See?” Chris says gently. “It’s fine.” Andy pulls his lips tight and nods, but he still doesn’t look convinced. Chris sighs. He can tell Andy still has more to say. He might as well ask. “Why’re you still beating yourself up so bad over this, sweetheart?”

Andy is silent for a moment, looking unhappy off to the side of the camera. Chris is about to ask again just to break the quiet when Andy finally responds, posture hunching in with his reluctant answer. “It shouldn’t affect me so much,” he whispers. “Not when I’ve been alone...before. I should know how to handle it better by now, but I just...I’ve been sleeping on the couch because the bed feels too big without you. I haven’t eaten a proper meal in days because I’m working too much. I can’t even do my job right without letting Neil goad me into a fight because I’m _pathetic_.” He pauses again to scrub over his beard, expression agonized and ashamed like he already regrets what he just said. Chris’s heart aches for him and how used to that loneliness Andy thinks he should be. “I told you it was stupid. Sorry.”

“It’s not stupid,” Chris objects. “Don’t apologize.” Andy looks at him with an ironically apologetic expression, obeying Chris’s inadvertent order but still managing to say _sorry_ with his eyes. Chris is equal parts fond and unhappy over the skill. “Andy, it’s okay to feel lonely. You’re used to sharing your space with me,” he tips his head at Andy’s quiet muttering of _our space_ and gives him a small smile, but goes on. He has a point to make here, cold dinner in front of him be damned _. “_ Now that we’re slipping out of that routine for the first time and going back into situations that are too close to... _before_ , you’re feeling off balance. That’s...I’m feeling that way too. You think I’m not doing stuff because I feel weird being away from home? Ands, I packed one of your shirts and pairs of underwear to sleep in. I haven’t stopped thinking about touching you all day, even while I was working. Hell, I started this call because I was going to try and sit down to pretend we were eating dinner together like usual. You aren’t the only one doing quote on quote ‘stupid things’ because you’re trying to feel less lonely, sweetheart. I promise.”

Andy frowns and looks close to interjecting, hand spiking up his hair, but as soon as he opens his mouth and lets out an argumentative “But what _I’m_ doing-“, Chris shuts him down with a firm look that makes Andy go doe eyed and shut up.

“There’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing besides the fact that some of it is hurting your body and your mind. We can handle that- _you_ can handle that by letting me help. It’s okay to ask for that. Don’t let yourself get too low when I’m right here to help you get yourself back up,” he continues. “There’s no shame in feeling lonely while we’re apart, but can deal with it _together_. Don’t you think letting us help each other would make some of the loneliness go away?”

After Chris finishes talking, the conversation pauses again for a long minute, and all that Chris can hear is the sound of a door slamming shut down the hall on his end and the too-high AC blowing behind him. Andy looks at Chris from the screen with an expression that’s contrastingly fragile to the rest of him as the words sink in. Chris looks back and holds his cradled between his hands like it’s something precious- it is. Right now it’s the only way he has to be with Andy. The only way he has to get through to him.

Finally, Andy takes in a slow breath, and Chris finds himself holding his own in anticipation to Andy’s response. He gets it a moment later. “Okay,” Andy says quietly.

Chris raises an eyebrow and leans back in his chair, cheap wood creaking under his weight. “Okay?” he presses, voice gently expectant.

Andy nods. If Chris could see him in better light, he’d wager that Andy’s cheeks are flushed. “Yeah. I...I needed to hear that. Thank you,” he adds on softly. “I just-“ he looks down, then up at Chris through shy lashes. “I got in my own head. Needed to be taken down, I guess.”

Chris hums and looks at him fondly, relief spreading through his chest. “Part of taking care is taking down. You’d do the same for me, you don’t need to thank me, sweetheart.” He leans in closer to the camera like he’s telling him a secret. “Just keep being sweet on me. That’s all I need.”

Andy exhales in a slow, tired laugh, hesitant with how he’s still gathering himself back up but managing to brighten Chris’s whole day with the small sound nonetheless. “Always.” Then, “I know you said no more apologies, but I’m sorry I ruined your dinner plans. And, ah, distracted the phone call.” He winces. “I didn’t even ask you how your day was.”

Chris glances down at his cold food, then back up at Andy’s face and the grainy image of their kitchen behind them. “Have you eaten yet?” He’s pretty sure he knows the answer, but has to hold back a sigh at Andy’s guilty expression and shake of the head anyways. He’d wager money that Andy has had popcorn and beer for a meal at least two times this week. “We could still eat together, if you wanted to. I know it's a little late, but I have a microwave in my room and I’m more than willing to watch and talk with you while you make something.” His voice turns softer. “It’d make me feel better to see you eating, too.”

Andy winces, but a second after that he’s nodding and taking Chris’s suggestion to carry his phone and their conversation to the kitchen, shoulders and posture relaxing along the way. It puts him at ease feeling like he’s satisfying someone, following the direction of a person who he trusts to hold the reins, Chris knows. As much as Andy is in charge and control during his professional life and much of his personal- here, he yields. He _wants_ to yield and bare that part of himself for the leading.

So Chris doesn't hesitate to give him what he wants, help him settle and feel less alone in the way that he promised in their earlier conversation. He just smiles at the way the camera pans up to the soft underside of Andy’s beard while he walks and lets his voice sound as fond as he feels when he murmurs out “ _Good boy”_.

Andy, for his part, huffs out a pleased noise of his own while he sets his phone up against what Chris thinks is their ceramic pasta container. His eyes crinkle when he smiles and drops them down in that telltale way of his that Chris loves. He steps back once he has the phone set up to show the upper half of his body, turning a little to the side and offering the camera a twist of his wrist between a thumbs up and a thumbs down to determine Chris’s thoughts on the view. “Can you see me? Am I good?” he asks.

Chris snorts and gets up himself, sticking his food in the mini fridge so he can opt to lounge on the (still uncomfortable) bed while Andy prepares his own instead. “I just said you were, sweetheart,” he teases, leaning back against the pillow and crossing his socked ankles. “Why? You need me to say it again?” Andy gives him a disgruntled look, but doesn’t say no. Chris grins and makes sure Andy sees Chris give him his own thumbs up just to tease. “Yeah, you’re good.”

Andy smiles and stretches up to pull something Chris can’t see out of the cabinet, giving Chris ample opportunity to ogle Andy’s arms and the bared up sliver of lean stomach his shirt. Or, actually…

He squints. “Is that shirt mine?”

There’s a loud clatter before Andy leans back into frame, face slightly embarrassed. “Maybe.” He clears his throat. “You stole mine first. Fair is fair, and all.”

“I guess you got me there, sweetheart,” Chris murmurs affectionately. “You mind if I put you down for a sec? I really want to get out of these jeans.”

Andy raises an eyebrow and twists around on screen to open the fridge. “No complaints from me if you want to take off your pants.”

“Slow down and keep making your dinner, hotshot,” Chris teases, watching Andy’s ass and shoulders wiggle where he’s standing in front of the fridge, preening at the order. He’s easy for it tonight, easier than he would be maybe if Chris hadn’t been gone this week- Chris just hopes all this is making him feel a little less low. It’s making him feel better just being able to take care of Andy in this small way, even while they’re miles apart. Still, staring at Andy’s ass, he’s lazily tempted...but no, that’s not where he thinks either of them want to take this tonight. It’s not what either of them need. “Maybe tomorrow,” he adds on, just to keep their options open for the future.

What? Phone sex isn’t on the table tonight, but it can be tomorrow if things run a little smoother.

For now he focuses on wrangling his jeans off, kicking them to the side of the bed so that he’s left in just his briefs and a t-shirt on top of the covers. By the time he’s settled back onto the pillows and picks up the phone, Andy already has the stove turned on and a grilled cheese cooking in a skillet, phone turned more to the side so Chris can see his hands work on making a salad to go with it.

Chris smiles and decides to contentedly watch for a moment. His boyfriend has gorgeous hands, he’s more than happy to look at them for a while.

Andy has other plans, though, hesitantly speaking up over the sizzling butter. “So- how was your day, daddy?”

Chris feels something in his chest warm and loosen at the sound of the pet name slipping from Andy’s mouth, always making the other man get bashful but leaving Chris practically purring. His sweet, thoughtful boyfriend. Good for his daddy even when Chris isn’t there.

“Lackluster,” he finally settles on saying. “Nothing bad happened or anything, but it didn’t really get me anywhere. Could have been worse….” he sighs and watches Andy flip his sandwich onto a plate. “I just can’t wait to get home.”

“Trust me,” Andy murmurs. He picks his sandwich plate up to stack on top of his salad bowl and lifts his phone with his opposite hand to carry both over to the kitchen island so he can eat sitting on one of the countertop stools. “I can’t wait either. I feel like I haven’t slept in days and Neil is getting on my last damn nerve.” He sets his phone down sideways against something Chris can’t see so that the call flips landscape as well and his broad shoulders fill the frame. “I miss you,” he says quietly. Impossibly easy in comparison to how drawn up he had been earlier.

Chris hums and secretly screenshots Andy’s doe-eyed expression to look at later when he’s alone in bed missing him. Andy doesn’t notice, it seems, just stares at him longingly until Chris smiles softly. “I miss you right back, sweetheart. I wish I was there. Go on and eat, don’t wait for me.”

As Andy takes the first bite of his salad and fulfills Chris’s request, Chris gets out of bed and goes to reheat his own dinner- it’s not going to be nearly as good as it would have been earlier, but it’s good enough for Chris. Maybe even better considering he gets to eat it with Andy, full and settled on the other end of the line.

He watches Andy tuck into eating while the microwave spins, waiting until right before the beeping to gently offer, “You think trying to sleep on my side of the bed might help?”

Andy blinks both at the microwave timer sounding off and Chris’s question, swallowing a bite of sandwich before answering. “Maybe,” he says hesitantly, fingers brushing crumbs out of his beard. “I mean, it wouldn’t hurt to try…”

Chris sits back down at the table in the corner to eat, blowing out a breath onto his first bite before chewing deliberately slow. He speaks up after, voice carefully treading as he lays down his suggestion. “I think you should try it out for tonight, sweetheart. Might make you feel better if you do. Might make _me_ feel better if I know you’re at home being good for me.” As if Andy isn’t always trying to be good for him- for everyone, sometimes. Still, Chris is telling the truth. He thinks it might help them both, as dumb and sappy as the action might sound.

In honestly, dumb and sappy is the attitude that half of their actions revolve around.

Andy doesn’t object, just nods slowly lets the order wrap around him gently like a hug. Reassurance that Chris is still taking care of him and letting Andy be good for him even while they’re not together. “Yeah, daddy,” he murmurs out. “I can try that tonight. You gonna sleep in that shirt you stole from me?” he asks, a shy smile taking over his face.

Chris smiles himself and looks innocently over to his suitcase. “I could go put it on right now if you want.”

Andy laughs. “You can finish eating first. I wouldn’t want to make your dinner get cold again.”

“That’s awful sweet of you, but I don’t think a few seconds would do much damage,” Chris teases. “Are you enjoying our dinner date that much?”

Andy rolls his eyes but his eyes crinkle again, so Chris doesn’t think he’s too done with Chris’s shit. He licks a bit of butter grease off his fingers before answering. “I enjoy every dinner _and_ date with you.”

“Likewise, angel. Likewise,” Chris says, feeling himself get unexpectedly soft at the contrast of their light bantering in comparison to the heavy conversation of before. It only feels right to let the next words slip out, honestly pouring out smooth and sweet. “I love you, you know. Can’t wait to get home and remind you just how much.”

Andy’s expression goes just as soft as Chris is feeling. His voice is quiet when he speaks, but so deeply genuine thay Chris can’t help but shiver a bit, even if he blames it a little on the hotel’s too high AC. “I know I get caught up in myself sometimes, but I know you love me, Chris. Every time you pull me out and keep me grounded, you remind me. I don’t need you to be here to know that.” He exhales shakily and smiles. “But I can’t wait for you to come back home to me either, daddy. I love you too.”

Chris wishes for one ridiculous second that he could kiss the screen just to let Andy know how much he loves and misses him, but his mouth is still greasy with soy sauce and he thinks that might be too sappy for even them. So instead, he gives Andy a warm smile back and keeps his voice soft when he replies. “I’ll always come back home to you, sweetheart. Nothing could keep me away.”

Andy’s hums and pushes his plate away, watching Chris fondly as he waits for him to finish eating as well. “Even if something did, I’d come find you,” he says quietly. “Every time. Just like _you_ found me the first time.”

Chris has to swallow both the final bite of his dinner and the emotions welling up in his throat after that statement. Jesus, he loves this man so much. Andy gave him a home, his trust, his love, everything Chris never had before; never even knew he needed until Andy Barber opened his front door and let Chris walk inside his house and his life, showing him everything he was going without, including the missing part of his heart. His other half.

Chris can only hope he does the same for Andy. He’d like to think he does.

It isn’t enough to put everything he’s feeling into words- the love, the adoration, the homesickness and longing- but Chris rubs at his beard and kisses his index and pointer fingers before tapping them to the side of the camera in place of where he’d normally be pressing a kiss to Andy’s forehead. It’s a corny move, maybe over the top, but it feels right and it makes Andy smile, so Chris doesn’t feel anything but good about it. “I love you,” he says again. There’s nothing else he can think of to say, but he thinks this is enough. Their love is always enough.

Andy kisses his own fingers and presses them to the screen as well, smile going bashful at the move and Chris’s huffed response. “Love you back, daddy. Now how about you go put on that shirt, yeah? I’m gonna head up to bed in a second.”

“Yeah, sweetheart. You got it.”

(Really, they’ve got each other. They always will.)

**Author's Note:**

> i am feedback seeking as always <3 hope you enjoyed these two being sappy and soft.


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